Notes on A middle-aged Londoner Part 1

I’ve always loved magazines

A childhood obsession with comics morphed into one for magazines and by the time I was 12 I was spending all my pocket money on penny sweets and British Vogue. A weekend job at a shoe shop in Greenwich Market meant that by 14 I was a Vogue subscriber. Vogue was a magic key to that elusive of things… adulthood. Soon I added in a subscription to the new Elle Magazine and was regularly buying others too. I absolutely loved Family Circle, and Prima, I spent a few years with Grazia, until it became too much like a gossip mag, and religiously read Eve (R.I.P.). Throw into the mix house and garden, cooking, travel, food, and music mags and yeh… I had a bit of a habit.

Susie lying on a bed of magazines

You can’t beat a glossy mag for a moment of pure indulgence and inspiration. Magazines have helped shaped who I am and what I love. When my all girls private school turned their nose up at offering cooking classes (they were only interested in us doing sciences), magazines did the job instead. My love of cooking, probably my biggest passion, comes straight from the pages of a magazine.  

Where was I?

There was always a little niggle though – one that only grew as I got older. I didn’t see myself in them – where were the black people, the fat people, the people who couldn’t afford to spend £6,000 on a holiday?  I remember the fuss that was made when Sophie Dhal appeared on the cover of British Vogue, all the ‘ooo-ing” and “ahhh-ing” about a ‘large’ woman on the cover, it was very much a ‘thing’. And I thought then, I want to publish a magazine, one that features a diversity of people not as a gimmick, and not a fetish mag (because that is what magazines tended to be if they featured larger bodies), but just because that’s what we look like, out in society; diverse, interesting, messy, brilliant.

The beginnings of an idea

Over the years the idea of starting a magazine has reared its head and each time I’ve buried it, it’s not the direction my life took and I’ve next to zero skills and experience to suggest that I could do it. But earlier this year, I had a few sessions with a Career Coach (something I would encourage people to do) and she urged me to dream. I allowed space in my mind for those things I’ve wanted to do but decided I couldn’t, for one reason or another, and publishing a magazine quickly made it to the top of the list. I thought “why not?” – cue a pretty long list of reasons. But still… why not right? And so here I am, publishing what I call a blog/magazine hybrid with plans for a print mag next year (a 50th birthday present to myself). I find writing quite difficult, I can be a bit rubbish with technology and definitely am no graphic designer, I’ve been trying to improve my photography for years with little sign of success. Oh yes, and… I’ve no money to put into this! But what the hell, I’m on a journey and I’d love it if you came too.

I might ‘fail’ but regardless, I’m going to have fun trying. Here’s to doing the things we dream of doing and not allowing the fear of being rubbish (hello fear) to stop us trying.